I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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