I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize