I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
