Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
