This girl is more easily done than said...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
