Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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