my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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