i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
