No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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