Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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