Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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