There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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