haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
