Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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