I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
