o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
