From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
