Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I wish there were birth control emojis
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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