I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
