K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
