I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Welp...herpes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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