I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
