maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
