i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
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I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
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Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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