he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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