D3 body, D1 cock
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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