Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
