Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
