After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
