I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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