omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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