I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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