i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
