good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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