No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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