so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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