Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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