is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
