What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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