How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
