i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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