So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
