I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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