Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
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I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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