Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
