im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
