I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
