grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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