I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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