when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Randomize
