So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
that is very illegal...i love you.
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