god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
