i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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