My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
