Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just forgot I was standing up.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
