we're chasing vodka with high fives
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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