I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
