she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
