Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
