You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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