I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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