apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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