i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
