wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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