You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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